What it Means to “Put the Work in” in Therapy
“Putting the work in” during therapy is talked about often in mental health spaces, but what does that actually mean? Put simply, it refers to taking an active and intentional role in engaging with the therapeutic process beyond just showing up for sessions. Therapy is not a passive experience by which emotional processing and healing are achieved simply by “going through the motions.” If someone tells you that therapy is easy, they’re probably not doing it right. Therapy is a collaborative process that requires confronting difficult emotions, challenging entrenched beliefs, and consistently applying new insights or strategies outside the therapy hour. Similar to pursuing physical therapy for an injury, achieving real change takes time, discomfort, and perseverance - but it is worth it. You will get out what you put in.
A primary ingredient in this process involves challenging oneself to cultivate emotional vulnerability. As a therapist I often ask people to explore painful memories, acknowledge uncomfortable truths, or examine long-standing patterns of thought and behavior. This process can be exhausting and at times even feel destabilizing. “Putting in the work” means allowing oneself to pause and feel the discomfort that naturally arises from that process without running from it - whether that’s admitting fear, shame, resentment, or grief. It also means resisting the temptation to hide behind rationalizations or to avoid difficult topics. Progress in therapy is often tied directly to how much someone is willing to be open, raw, and honest, both with their therapist and themselves.
Alongside vulnerability, we must keep in mind consistency and patience. Insight and change don’t always happen quickly, and behavioral change is rarely immediate. Our fast-moving culture often makes us feel pressured to power through the process and expect results sooner than they will naturally appear. Truly effective therapy stands as a contrast to this “fast-food therapy” cultural influence. Effective therapy is usually a slowly unfolding process towards a deeper understanding of oneself. “Putting in the work means” showing up regularly, even when you don’t feel like it, even when you think it’s not helping, or when sessions bring more confusion than clarity. It means slowing down and giving the process the time it needs.
Engaging in the therapeutic process between sessions is also a crucial component of “putting in the work.” Much of the impact of therapy comes from integrating what you learn in your sessions into your everyday life. This might mean completing homework assigned by your therapist, practicing mindfulness or self-reflection, tracking moods or triggers, or initiating difficult conversations with others. The therapy hour is only a small part of the week; real change happens when people take what they learn and apply it consistently.
In essence, putting the work in during psychotherapy is about active engagement, not passive attendance. It’s a commitment to face difficult emotions, to be curious instead of judgmental, and to strive for understanding and change over comfort and convenience. The work is often challenging—but it is through that challenge that meaningful healing and growth occur.
