You Don’t Need to Feel “Broken” to Benefit From Therapy

Historically, therapy has often been associated with crisis. The prevailing image of someone seeking therapy is often a person on the verge of collapse - dealing with trauma, mental illness, or a major life crisis. While therapy is certainly a critical resource in those situations, this narrow perception can often prevent many people from seeking help when they could benefit from it most. The truth is - you don’t need to feel “broken” to benefit from therapy. In fact, therapy can be just as valuable - if not more so - for people who pursue it as more of a preventative or maintenance measure to improve their lives, relationships, and self-understanding.

Therapy provides a structured space for self-reflection and personal growth. Through no fault of our own, many of us go through life without ever taking the time to deeply examine our thought patterns, emotions, or behavioral tendencies. We react, cope, and move on, often unaware of why we feel the way we do or make the choices we make. Therapy offers a space to slow down, pause, and become curious about ourselves. Even if nothing is necessarily “wrong,” this kind of reflection can lead to increased self-awareness, better emotional regulation, and a greater sense of direction – all which can significantly improve relationships, enhance professional growth, and improve overall quality of life.

Therapy also helps people build tools for future challenges. Life in our fast-paced culture is often unpredictable. Stress, grief, conflict, and transitions are inevitable. Waiting until you’re overwhelmed to seek help is akin to waiting until you sustain a running injury before you take the time to learn proper running form and technique. Therapy can be used as a proactive tool, helping to build resilience, practice communication skills, and identify coping mechanisms in order to be more prepared to face life’s inevitable challenges.

Moreover, therapy can normalize emotional health. Just as people work with personal trainers to stay physically fit, therapists can help maintain mental well-being. Viewing therapy as a normal part of personal maintenance helps dismantle the stigma that mental healthcare is only for those who feel “broken.” This shift in perspective encourages a healthier, more compassionate culture around emotions and self-care.

Therapy can be a rare opportunity to be truly heard. In a culture filled with distractions, surface-level conversations, and constant pressure to present a perfect image, having a non-judgmental space where one can speak openly and be met with empathy can be profoundly healing - even for those who feel like they “have it all together.”

In short, therapy is not a last resort; it is a valuable, ongoing resource for anyone looking to understand themselves better, navigate life’s various challenges, and cultivate a richer, more intentional life. You don’t need to feel “broken” to seek help. You really just need to be human.

What it Means to “Put the Work in” in Therapy

“Putting the work in” during therapy is talked about often in mental health spaces, but what does that actually mean? Put simply, it refers to taking an active and intentional role in engaging with the therapeutic process beyond just showing up for sessions. Therapy is not a passive experience by which emotional processing and healing are achieved simply by “going through the motions.” If someone tells you that therapy is easy, they’re probably not doing it right. Therapy is a collaborative process that requires confronting difficult emotions, challenging entrenched beliefs, and consistently applying new insights or strategies outside the therapy hour. Similar to pursuing physical therapy for an injury, achieving real change takes time, discomfort, and perseverance - but it is worth it. You will get out what you put in.

A primary ingredient in this process involves challenging oneself to cultivate emotional vulnerability. As a therapist I often ask people to explore painful memories, acknowledge uncomfortable truths, or examine long-standing patterns of thought and behavior. This process can be exhausting and at times even feel destabilizing. “Putting in the work” means allowing oneself to pause and feel the discomfort that naturally arises from that process without running from it - whether that’s admitting fear, shame, resentment, or grief. It also means resisting the temptation to hide behind rationalizations or to avoid difficult topics. Progress in therapy is often tied directly to how much someone is willing to be open, raw, and honest, both with their therapist and themselves.

Alongside vulnerability, we must keep in mind consistency and patience. Insight and change don’t always happen quickly, and behavioral change is rarely immediate. Our fast-moving culture often makes us feel pressured to power through the process and expect results sooner than they will naturally appear. Truly effective therapy stands as a contrast to this “fast-food therapy” cultural influence. Effective therapy is usually a slowly unfolding process towards a deeper understanding of oneself. “Putting in the work means” showing up regularly, even when you don’t feel like it, even when you think it’s not helping, or when sessions bring more confusion than clarity. It means slowing down and giving the process the time it needs.

Engaging in the therapeutic process between sessions is also a crucial component of “putting in the work.” Much of the impact of therapy comes from integrating what you learn in your sessions into your everyday life. This might mean completing homework assigned by your therapist, practicing mindfulness or self-reflection, tracking moods or triggers, or initiating difficult conversations with others. The therapy hour is only a small part of the week; real change happens when people take what they learn and apply it consistently.

In essence, putting the work in during psychotherapy is about active engagement, not passive attendance. It’s a commitment to face difficult emotions, to be curious instead of judgmental, and to strive for understanding and change over comfort and convenience. The work is often challenging—but it is through that challenge that meaningful healing and growth occur.

The Importance of Empathy and Why I Became a Therapist

One of the many reasons I decided to pursue psychotherapy as a profession can be traced back to my upbringing in the city of New Orleans. Being raised in one of the most diverse cities in the US, I was exposed to many different cultures, values, perspectives, and guiding principles. While these experiences provided me with an immense appreciation for diversity, I also distinctly recall numerous experiences throughout my childhood in which I observed significant tension between people of different backgrounds and values. Through these experiences, I learned to appreciate the importance of practicing empathy. 

 Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings and experiences of another person. It often includes both “emotional empathy,” - feeling the emotions of others and sympathizing with their situation, and “cognitive empathy,” - understanding of the thoughts and viewpoints of others. Empathy can enhance communication, strengthen relationships, and foster a stronger sense of connection between individuals. 

 During these years growing up in my hometown, I also grew to appreciate the importance of self-awareness; because my upbringing differed in many ways from others in New Orleans, I began to understand that the ability to listen to and understand others' experiences in the context of my own background is crucial in order to feel and express empathy. I’ve learned the importance of maintaining an honest dialogue with myself and others and practicing vulnerability and non-judgmental curiosity. I do my best to listen before speaking, and to seek to understand one’s experiences rather than to criticize or judge them. I try wholeheartedly to incorporate empathy into my personal life and my professional life as a psychotherapist.

At its core, psychotherapy centers around challenging oneself - challenging one’s thoughts, perspectives, habits, and values that we were taught are “the right ways” to live by. Breaking free from these limitations allows us to open our minds to others’ differences and move towards a more compassionate and connected sense of wellbeing.

When working with clients, I often encourage them to explore the following questions in order to help them cultivate empathy in their lives: 

• “Do I perceive others through a lens of judgment, or through a lens of impartial curiosity?”

• “If I am experiencing conflict with another person, have I tried to put myself in their shoes and understand the origin of their thoughts and emotions? Do I feel as though they have done the same for me?”

• “How can I use my lived experience to help others achieve a greater sense of fulfillment and richness in their life?”